We’re connected, we’re attached, we’re.about to fart. Butt plug and I are apparently a unit now. No! Darn! What if it’s like some sort of butt-Toxic-Shock-Syndrome-thing? The weather app says it’s 86 degrees out. How can you tell the difference between summer heat or butt plug heat? Shit. Just your average Sunday evening commuter.who is starting to feel warm. Even though my lover can’t see me, I pretend he’s watching. Is it through the nose out the mouth or the other way around?
#ANAL BUT PLUG HOW TO#
Knowing how to properly breathe would be good right about now. I wish I paid more attention in the dozen yoga classes I’ve been to. I’m holding a magazine although I haven’t read a word for three stops.
Whew! Although, do I sit? Stand? I’ll sit. It’s not that I physically feel the butt plug inside me but mentally it is screaming. But suddenly these four minutes walking to the train feel like a hike. When I signed the lease to my apartment, I felt blessed with a. My sweet angel pup gets me and my tardy ass.
Thank God, all he had to do was pee real quick. If I walk the dog, I will officially be running (waddling?) late. I’m still breathing, and hey! I can walk! And kick! I’m like a kinky Sally O’Malley! I know this is a different hole, a different time. Not “finger in butt” flashbacks, but flashbacks of my, yes, more than one trip to the gynecologist with tampons stuck inside me. I stick my finger ever so slightly in my asshole and immediately start having flashbacks. Oh wait! This thing comes with instructions! Beautiful, beautiful, search history-less instructions in seven languages (Did you know “butt plug” in Dutch is “butt plug”?)! Okay, something about a 45 degree angle (Geometry?!) and using lube.
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